KIBBLE IS BETTER THAN FRESH FOOD!

THE EXPERIMENT

INTRODUCTION:

Today, raw and freeze-dried foods are booming in the pet food world.

According to research company GfK: “freeze-dried products are on a significant upswing, seeing 74% growth since the first quarter of 2012. (This increase beats out grain-free, which has grown 64% in the same timeframe.) Refrigerated pet food has also grown over the past few years. Sales in 2011 were $34 million, jumping to $92 million in 2013.”

So in an attempt to get a job within the kibble manufacturing industry, as I am currently unemployed, I thought I would conduct an experiment to knock fresh foods down a peg and show why processed kibble is way awesomer! (Yes, awesomer can be a word in this write-up.)

PURPOSE:

To see which “food”, processed kibble or fresh food, can better withstand the test of time.

MATERIALS & METHODS:

I took 3 mason jars and placed two fresh food items, separately, in each mason jar: a piece of ethically raised, grass-fed raw meat (80% muscle meat, 10% bone & 10% organ) in one and a piece of organic broccoli in the other.

In the third jar, I placed a piece of kibble that was dated back from 2008 (it was in my garage and it was the last bag of kibble I ever purchased for my dog).

The jars were placed on a well-painted ledge and left there to age.

RESULTS:

Even with the piece of processed kibble having a head start of 2,417 days, at just 3 days in, the fresh food gave up so easily and withered away! So, I thought I would push the experiment 144 days longer to show how terrible fresh food can be at not aging!

DISCUSSION:

Yes, of course fresh food might be healthier, and packed with bio-available nutrients, BUT it cannot last as long as the mighty kibble!

So you see, who wouldn’t want to eat “processed food” that can last for 2,561 days (and longer) unrefrigerated! Delicious, right?

CONCLUSION:

Stronger and more eternal (if possible?) than the king of the gods, Zeus himself. When I die, I want to come back as the immortal piece of kibble!

ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS:

No one to thank, as I did this all by myself!

EXTRA INFORMATION:

If anyone in the kibble industry is interested in hiring me, I will be conducting my next experiment: “Kibble versus Earth, who will last longer?”

(Of course this is a satire! Moral of the story: We should all be consuming fresh, whole foods and avoiding as much processed foods as possible. Food items that never really rot should always be questioned, especially ones that can look exactly the same after 7 years!)

Rodney Habib